I wish.

I used to just wish I was a little bit taller (I wish I was a baller) but then life happened and I grew up and I got wise and mature and my hair grew, my boobs filled out and I still was not taller. So I moved on to wishing for things that might be more plausible. I wished for a college degree, a good job, great friends, a guy I could be cheesy and dorky with. Great shoes (with three inch hills that for a short time period, made me seem taller) and an ipod that played Michael Bolton, Boyz II Men, and the entire Dirty Dancing soundtrack. The problem is that shoes wear down, ipods run out of battery and need to be replaced, and a college degree will only get you so far.

So I'm always left wishing and wanting. Like most human beings, life is never enough. And today, I tried in vain to lure away my friend from her apartment, bf, job, and school in order to run away with me to wherever our credit cards could afford to take us. I say I tried in vain because I know that neither of us would ever leave our anything- we're not those kind of people. I'd never drop out of school (nor would she), we'd never leave our bfs (do you know how hard it is to find a good man?) and we'd never put ourselves in an unknown situation- where we're not sure how our bills are getting paid, when we'll have more money, and what we're eating for dinner.

So today, I don't wish I had new jeans or a new haircut (two things that have been on my mind lately) but today, I wish I was the kind of person who would go to Mexico/Italy/New Zealand on vacation, decide I loved it so much, and just stayed. Who didn't spend my life wishing I could live one way or the other, that just did. My bf is that kind of person- always reminding met hat I CAN go do x, y, and z if I want to, I just have to do it. It's hard for a person who thrives off stability and certainty to do things like that. But I've been wishing for 25 years (nearly 26) and it's time to run away to a brand new place where I'm happy enough to not want to run away. So this year will the be the year I run (not literally) to my happy place. I will be that girl that doesn't want to go somewhere but that does go somewhere. Whether it's a new city, a new job, or even a new country. Yes, no more wishing for me (unless it's for a new, magical way to make me a little bit taller, the Skeelo way).

The Unemployed Grad Student Life

Well, to be frank, it's a sad, boring life. My other grad school friends say I'm lucky and wish they didn't work. And sure, it has its perks- I sleep til whenever I want- though I try to wake up by ten. I have time to go to the gym and blast Kanye's workout song (I'm hoping to get me a baller man). I have bountiful hours in which I can complete my bountiful reading and not worry about staying up til 2 am getting through five chapters of econ.

But let's talk about the downsides of not working. And not just the fact that payday skips over me like Santa skips over the naughty kids, but the stuff everyone overlooks. Like the fact that since I don't work, I don't have coworkers. This curtails the amount of coworker happy hours- not that I could go to them anyways because all my classes are at night. And once I'm done with the gym, showered, and ready to go, everyone else is still at work. Because apparently, I'm one of the few that opted out of being responsible and took the unemployed route instead. My roommate works. My friends work.

So what human contact do I have until they're off work? Well, there used to be the Starbucks guy until I gave up Starbucks. The library clerk doesn't even look up when I walk into the building. And so I'm left with the pressing desire to actually go to class so that I can catch up with my classmates. This of course, is the 3 minutes before class starts and the 5 minutes we have reserved for a break. And if I have to use the restroom, that curtails my contact with society by at least another 3 minutes.

Of course, my friends have time to hang out when they're done with work. This would be my non-grad student friends. Only when they're getting off work, I'm heading to class. And my grad student friends go from work, to class. This essentially frees ALL of us up by 9pm at the earliest. Except for Tuesdays when a few of us are free by 7pm.

And thus Tuesdays at 7 becomes 'human contact' hour for me. But only once a month because we have study groups, papers, reading to do. So the other three weeks I'm waiting for the weekends or for my roommate to get home, who, btw, also works and goes to school. Then the weekends pour in. And you think, finally, I can have some fun. Wrong. Because despite the fact that you're unemployed, you still haven't finished studying for your midterm, writing your paper, or preparing your group presentation that are due Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. And so you spend the entire weekend, confined in your room/library/cafe, chatting online with your other sad grad school friends, waiting for your Monday class so you can chat with someone other than your gchat friends and your sister that calls you daily.

Yes, I am asking shamelessly for pity. That or a few thousand dollars so I can repay my first year of grad school, drop out, and get a real job with a real life that permits me to once again, have some fun in my life.

Things I Miss

The fog rolling over the trees.

Silly kisses from special people.

Pork buns. Steamed, baked, any way you can make them.

Rushing, busy people with pink bags.

Days when 6 pm for me was 6pm for you.

Carne asada plates with red salsa (and a hint of green).

Barts/metros that wait for transfers.

Writing my name on a white board to wait for dry fried beef.

People of all races and sexes walking hand in hand.

Steep hills up the street, down the street, east, west.

Unfinished bridges linking east to west.

Three dollar mojitos.

Friends that are shorter than me but equally as cool.

The World According to Sister

Today I shared with my sister that I decided (just this weekend) to support Obama. her stunned silence was expected- I was well aware that she is a Hillary fan. What came out of her mouth next led me to question her judgement.

Sister: You are no longer my sister. I disown you.
Me: Huh?
Sister: A vote for Obama is a Vote for Oprah!
Me: hahahahah. Seriously? I really question your judgement sometimes (yea, I said it).

I had a few hours to laugh and let her statement linger... and laugh some more. And then she called me back a few minutes ago.

Sister: You know, Oprah is trying to take over the world.
Me: No she's not.
Sister: Yes she is, everything she has is called O. Her magazine, everything. You think it's a coincidence she supports O-bama?? She wants to take over the world... next thing you know it'll be the United States of Oprah.
Me: hahahahah. Really?
Sister: And she's using Obama to do it! (Pause) Are you listening?
Me: Oh, yea, I'm sorry, I was busy laughing.

And there you have The World According to Sister, who, though usually intelligent, has just solidified my arguement that I am the smarter sister.