On Being Mexican, Part II

My first trip to Mexico came and went and now, I'm sitting in front of my computer in 40 degree weather as though I never left for a vacation. The only visible sign of my trip is the tan I gained while climbing pyramids and sitting in zocolo's for hours on end. But of course, this trip was much more than just a vacation for me. Sure, I enjoyed lazy afternoons with cold beers, sleeping in curled up, and lots of great food, but to me, going to Mexico was about going home, rekindling old familial relationships, and figuring out where I came from.



My bf asked me if I was having some sort of huge epiphany and eye opening experiences while I was there. At first I thought I was. I thought I was realizing that I am indeed Mexican and that I "found myself" (whatever that means). But once I got home and thought about it some more, I realized that I'd been found this entire time. I was right to think I had lost my Mexican side. I did. I am American. Perhaps not born. But definitely raised. I have American values, American perspectives, and I love living in the States. What I was looking for- some sort of cultural identity- was in front of me my entire life and I just didn't see it.

But now everything seems clear to me. I am an American raised woman. What I did learn, however, is that there is no reason that I have to be this particular identity for the rest of my life. I thought the world of cultural identity was exclusive- you have to be one or the other. Yes, I am American but now I can start learning more about my culture, the people and traditions of Mexico, and the delicious food that makes up their culinary world. (I couldn't write a blog without mentioning Mexican food).

I promise myself to return to Mexico very soon. I will never lose sight of the fact that I am American but perhaps slowly I can learn what it means to be Mexican and learn to compliment my American self with the great values and traditions of the Mexican culture. There is no reason I have to be one or the other and I know that now.